July ends

I choose to end my July to remember my old days with my old friends.

Even though it’s not a big deal for some people, I don’t care.

I don’t even care and I know some of them care. Deep in their heart.

Every single of you, care.

I miss you, friends.

I still remember when you, and me. Living in the same roof.

We were together. Together we used to sit and help each other’s up.

We share our music and thoughts.

You used to sit beside me. You used to lay beside me.

You used to talk and laugh loudly with me.

Several semesters passed,

The atmosphere doesn't feel the same anymore.

You were with them.

Believe in them.

Them, peoples you don’t even close and knew like you knew me.

But I know, your eyes are always true.

Your eyes believe in whatever they saw rather than your heart can tell you what you supposed to believe and stay with.

They’re actively talking about me. Bashing inside out.

You used to shout my name out loud.

You used to be very proud of me back then.

I taught you this, you taught me that.

I talked to you, you ignored it.

I smiled at you, you look at other things.

I remember you. You are my bestfriend.

You made me love you.

You made me comfortable with you.

You made me sad and uncomfortable with you too.

We didn't talk; we didn't see each other’s faces no more.

But surprisingly, there’s no such anger and hate within mine.

I know those aren't your false. At all.

I know you didn't feel the same and I know you don’t know what’s in my heart.

This sadness is no longer in me.

Years passed. The conversation is barely enough to be happened.

You, you. And me, me.

The sadness became saturated.

The communication stuff doesn't play their roles to us.

Now I realize,

Only you are my bestfriend , but I am not yours. 

Whatever it is,

I miss your laugh.

Hello if you’re reading this

I really want you to know that I’m sorry for what had happened to us.

I know you have lots of friends, back then and now especially. But haihh,

I don’t know if it’s my fault or someone else.

I just want to tell you that I’m sorry.

And

I miss you.

xx; fa