Tuesday, September 13, 2016



Have you ever had that feeling?
When someone you love suddenly acts out all strange and starts to avoid you. And no matter how hard you try to fix things, you just cant. So the only thing you can do is watch them slowly disappear, slowly forgetting you- bit by bit.

Those words by Adibah Awang really caught me in my own feeling. Like bedezzup the memories get into my brain. I didn't experience it with someone who I called love or opposite gender, obviously. But it hits me so hard when I did experience it with my own bestfriend. You know, sometimes this time will hit you, like out of sudden. Tiba2 je jadi and you didn't saw it coming at all! Like I said it was out of sudden. So when someone else or even yourself ask you why is it happening? Worst, you don't know the answer. you just don't. Dah lah tiba2 mcm awkward, and tiba2 jugak avoiding you. Allahu..

And yes. I agreed with what Adibah said;  no matter how hard you try to fix things, you just cant. no matter how hard you try to fix things, you just cant. I did. I tried to fix things by saying a lot of apology words. I mean it. A lot. You know, even you still don't know what's the reason but because you love and still love that person after the sudden 'avoid stuff' happened, you lowered your gaze to say sorry and trying hard to make her smile back to your face. But it just stay like that. No changes. And you got blank. You don't know what else to do or try to make things back on track. Because this crack is something you're not gonna able to fix alone. And yes, that time I was alone.

And the only thing is yes, watch them disappear and forgetting me. But not to forget I still ask Allah to tell me what is really going on and what have I done. At least I know so that I won't repeat the same mistakes on others (maybe to my other bestfriend/new one). And till now, I still don't know the reason why.

Allah has taken away my bestfriend from me, not by death but by ignoring and avoiding. Which much more hurtful than being dead to someone, of course. And I was like started to remove and unfollow her from all social networks and her phone number. Can you believe me?! I'm not that strong. I know I can still know her news and contact her if any because we share a lot of mutual friends and still in our inner circle. But we just...not talking to each other anymore.

How sad.

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