Friday, November 04, 2016

The Allegations


Source : Google
Allegations. Hurm. Not that because of I'm now starting to wear a niqab then I feel the allegation that have been thrown by people. No. It's already began long time ago. Okay talk about the allegations, I used to see and know the world with me being a free-hair. What I was thinking that time? Not because I feeling2 princess. Tapi sebab I suka do my own stuff and mind my own things. So I suka flip my hair merata. :P

And then around 2012, going for degree life and I've decided to wear a hijab.  I mean, I started to wear the tudungs.  Not really a shawl lover that time. Relate it with the allegation. I don't really care what allegation got me. Yang I tau that time I was trying hard to not flipping hair around and arpund anymore. Although I was trying hard that time, sometimes I got lost with my own-self, sometimes. Kita tumpas je jugak. On Off jugak pakai tudungnya. (Sebab I really miss my old self yg konon hot. Zzz) Tapi time tu, sama jugak, x kisah pasal apa orang ckp. Yang I tau, SUKAHATI I.

Jahil gila.

Around last year in 2015 kot. I feel like empty. And bored! Bosan dgn all the musics and entah. Bosan. And out of sudden I started to labuh2kan tudung yang I ada. Sampai I fell sick of those sbb too short (takdelah short sampai nampak dada pun), and I fel like those my tudungs tak cover diri I betul2 and I still rasa mcm naked. And bermulalah zaman I search semua shawl yang quite wide and widerrrrrr. K. I tak rasa pun I'm soooo good sebab nampak beza dari dulu dan sekarang. Lagi I segan sbb everyone knows me with the wild-chile type, and becoming like this, I don't feel like I am deserve to be the one.

But who cares right. At the end dalam kubur nanti I'm all alone and yang kena balas apa semua tu is myself. So stop thinking and missing my old self, I decide to follow my heart (which I see in a good way) and tawakaltu 'alallah. So this is me now, Comfortable with he wide shawl and yang seangkatan dengannya. Don't ask me why, x rimas ke and all those kind of questions; you don't feel what comfortable I feel when I'm wearing baju yg loose and hijab yang tutup sampai siku dan hampir ke pinggang. I'm comfortable in it. So stfu.

And when I'm started wearing a niqab, as I mentioned in my previous post, I'm in the state of onn-off of wearing it. It sometimes bother me when I sometimes feel like people are talking and then comes allegations. In every angles. Why do I need to feel like that? Pheww. Why can't I feel like before, biar lantak dorang nak cakap apa. Biarlah I nak on-off pun. Why bother?

Why bother with someone who's on-off wearing a niqab?
Why bother with someone who's on-off wearing a hijab?
Why not to bother someone who's not wearing a hijab/cover their aurah at all?
You attack the wrong kind and type of person.
Open your eyes and heart.
Don't look with your jealousy.

Maybe I need to have more tawakal to Allah.

Hoping there's no kecam-mengecam here.


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